Terrible Two

Khichuri Courtesy: http://kolkatakuisine.blogspot.ca/2011/01/khichuri-khichri-steamy-combo-of-rice.html
Indeed! On this day in 2012, The Slo-Man and The LastWord came together in a merger of blogs, a melding of minds and turned this into a khichadi of a blog.
The English Kedgeree takes it’s name from the Indian melange of rice and lentils and adds a hodge-podge of fish, eggs and cream, turning it into something distinctly different from the variations available in India. Growing up, The Slo-Man remembers the pale, lightly spiced gruelly mess that he was served when he was sick with the mumps or measles or chicken pox. Or maybe that should be anded not ored. To make that last sentence more understandable, or confusing, the Slo-Man would like to draw your attention to the following diagrams.
The OR Gate. courtesy the BBC – GCSE Bitesize
The AND gate. Courtesy the BBC GCE Bitesize
In the first diagram either A OR B have to be true for the light represented by Q to light up. In the second diagram both A AND B have to have electricity passing through them for Q to be true. If you are confused then it would be a good time to remind you that the Slo-Man never apologizes. It says so right there on his About page.
As khichadi’s go, The Slo-Man much prefers the Bengali version of it, which they call khichuri and add all kinds of spices and potoatoes to it. It is served with bhaja, or what the PeevedPunjabi would call pakodas. Pumpkin for instance.
The merger was a mistake. Having multiple voices on this blog has diluted interest. Adding LeggieLefty and his posts about cricket has simply exacerbated the problem. What readers want to see is a steady stream of sameness. The constant chopping and changing disturbs them. Now poetry, now a travel story, now a random post aimed at sharing an audio clip of the LastWord hopelessly mangling a Grateful Dead song. The readers have spoken with their deathly silence. And here is the original song as recorded by the Dead.

The LastWord, who is peering over the Slo-Man’s shoulder as he writes this, would like to add something, he says.

I just want to say that it gives me great pleasure.

So what exactly has this blog accomplished in two years? Well, for one it does seem to be potty trained. It has developed a clientele of sorts. A matter of some pride and some anguish is the thought that the regulars include no family or friends whatsoever. Possibly knowing a bad thing when they see one, the family has stayed away in droves. Except for some early readership, this blog does not count any family amongst its readers. If they secretly do, they have been extremely careful to not let the Slo-Man know.
Friends have expressed their appreciation, and as a mark of respect the Slo-Man was asked for writing assistance by a couple of friends. Old acquaintances from school and college have cited busy schedules that include partying, vacationing, work and family and have failed to avail themselves (as they say in India) of the pleasures of this blog. The Slo-Man has now decided that the fastest way to lose friends is to ask them to read your blog. The pleasure of that glazed, trapped look in their eyes is but a fleeting pleasure and he is now giving that up. Leave the poor dears be, he says.
Over the last 2 years we have seen that OKRA rules. The king of all vegetables is also the king of all posts. It has been read about more often than any other post. Coconut Oil? That has done very well, too. Recipes for Butternut Squash soup and Graked Fish have done well too. A surprising entrant into the hall of fame is Bats, Batsman and Batting. This is almost entirely due to Punjabis from both sides of the border Googling search terms such as “can I use mustard oil on my cricket bat”. Answer came there none, unfortunately for them, for the Slo-Man very much doubts if they had the patience to go through the post.
None of our personal favorites made it into the top ten (or 50). This one, a particular pet of a satire is apparently so subtle and challenging it hasn’t seen any traction at all.
Among other experiments we have tried is to sign on to Blogging groups on Facebook and blogging network sites. The Slo-Man would like to report that this has met with limited success and is reminded of this quote “…there’s no success like failure. And that failure’s no success at all” from none other than the infuriatingly engimatic, uncharismatic but powerfully lyric Mr Dylan, he of the gravelly, nasal tone. http://www.bobdylan.com/us/songs/love-minus-zero-no-limit .
Blogging networks fall into two basic categories, Indian and Rest of the World. The Indian ones are mostly about winning contests and making money by gaining traffic. The Rest of the World seems to be writing books and these are all concerned with people trying to promote the book they have written. It seems that EVERYONE has written a book already.
The Slo-Man ,who started seriously thinking about it 2-3 years ago, has been proved to be just that.
A Slo-Man.
Curtain call: Please give a round of applause to the supporting cast of writers. We were all born on the same day in August, at exactly the same time to exactly the same mother, who was also born on the same day. (Tylenol may be obtained over the counter… take two and try to work it out again in the morning)
Senior Story Writer, Head of Nostalgia and Acting Chief of Poetry: The Last Word.
Senior Staff Correspondent, Head of Diatribes: The PeevedPunjabi
and last, but not the least, our
Cricket Despondent, failed batsman and moderately useful Legspinner: LeggieLefty.
Here comes the PeevedPunjabi with something to say.

Ladies and Gentlemen, please also acknowledge our Chief of Staff, Head Bloggist at SloWord, The Slo-Man. Without him none of us would be here today.

Keep on turning your love our way…..

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  1. chsuresh63

    Ahem! Tell me about it. Family and friends spying you at a distance and ducking down rat-holes to escape being pestered about the blog 🙂 Blogging networks proving altogether too sparsely populated by potential readers of your blog. Been there, seen that and will probably see a lot more till the monotony of the view kills all interest in blogging 🙂

    1. Slo-Man

      Heh heh! Touched a nerve, did we? Thanks for dropping by, as always.

  2. mahabore

    He he he, I dunno about the rest of your readers, but I rather prefer the khichdi in one place viz this blog, rather than having to navigate to different URLs at different points in time. But then, that is because my own blog is a khichdi of all of my own myriad thoughts and posts.
    Having said that, congrats on turning two years old in the blogosphere and here’s hoping to many more similar anniversaries or should I call them blogoversaries ?

    1. Slo-Man

      You would be in a minority, we presume, hence your visits to this khichudi of a blog. It makes sense to have one place to find everything, but then the modern generation wants an instant fix without effort and they need a steady stream. We supply neither sameness nor steadiness. Do we miss them, with their “Awesome post” and their text-speak generic comments? We are inclined to say – NO.
      We want more of the types who do come by regularly and chat with us. Like you, for example.

  3. mindfulmagpie

    Slo, I feel your pain. My blog is a little of this and a little of that and I just can’t help it. I do write the blog for my own pleasure, but yet I would like for someone to read it besides my sweet daughter and husband. I have found that most friends scratch their heads and wonder why anyone would write a blog. Why indeed? Well, I just can’t help it! Thanks for your honesty about the trials of bloggers, and happy anniversary to your entire staff!

    1. Slo-Man

      The entire staff thanks you for your kind words and your continued readership and conversation.
      We can’t help it either, we feel that time is running out and there is so much to do…