Nasal Blues

So – I need help. Yeah, Yeah – I know!
It seems the nose job 18 months ago didn’t quite take. And as things stand I may have to go under the knife again. That was depressing – so I took me aside and wrote down this song. I just can’t finish it and that’s where I need your help.
Please suggest more verses. Here we go then:
Nasal Blues (in some nice key so I can play with open chords – I’m too lazy to learn barre chords)
Well I woke up this morning , I had them nasal blues
Well I woke up this morning , I had them nasal blues
There was so much slime, baby, I dunno what to do
Well I went to the doctor, told him I couldn’t breathe
Well I went to the doctor, told him I couldn’t breathe
He said no wonder, your nose is full of trees
<mournful picked guitar solo goes here>
< your suggested verses here>

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  1. Well I blew into my hankie, honk honk wheeze
    Well I blew into my hankie, honk honk wheeze
    And all that emerged was a pocketful of geese
    Well the doc took a look, at the feathery heap
    Well the doc took a look, at the feathery heap
    He said oh dear Sharma, you need to dig in deep
    Well I cried oh Doc, how will I sing soprano
    Well I cried oh Doc, how will I sing soprano
    He said with look askance, you’re so full of guano

    1. Very cool! How did I know you would be the first contributor? Or that you would be fall into the absurdity (absurd ditty) of the piece?

  2. what emerged, really was so, so very gross
    yea, what emerged, was really so,so very gross
    actually that aint from mr sharma, its from dk bose

    1. Oh yeah! I think a harp solo is indicated – should start right at the last halfnote of “bose” for a seamless transition.

  3. And if the singer can yodel, you can close, in appropriately nasal tones ((think Bob-Dylan meets Kishore Kumar) with:
    “I got the na-ay-sa-al blu-u-u-ues.”

  4. I got nasal, I got nasal blues on my mind
    I got nasal, nasal blues that wont treat me right
    well, let me tell ya honey
    it sure aint a pretty sight

  5. Well I woke up in the mawnin’
    Scarlett Johanssen real close
    I was kissin’ her and cuddlin’ her
    Till she done and broke mah nose
    T’was ‘ctually the old lady
    Who does live in mah hoose
    Punched me in mah nose she did
    Now I’m all nasal, singin’ the blues
    😀

  6. Ah likes it! Mama don’t like you messing aroun’ Mama don’t like you getting aroun, now you’re nasal, nasal all the time..

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