Catty Rolls

First – the disclaimer. No cats have been harmed in the writing of this post. God knows cats and I are sworn enemies, and there are days when I dream of a cat-free world, but I wish them no harm other than removal from an area measured by a radius of 1,000 miles with me at it’s centre (center, if American).

Anyway, this is not about cats. I would never waste my time talking about cats, except that in my world the word “cat” is pronounced with a hiss through clenched teeth. In the interest of selling this blog post, though, I plan to include a picture of a cute kitten. See top left (gauche, if French)

A sell-out, you scream or holler or yell.

Pragmatic, realist, I retort. I have little or no readership….

So what is this post about? It’s about food – I have been accused on a public forum of eating too much and I have decided to hit back by posting a derant ( if management idiots can coin “degrow”, I say I can invent new words too…) about one of my favorite foods. An Indian style burger, invented in Calcutta ( Kolkata if Bengali) and made and sold on every street corner in the city, unavailable elsewhere.

Until now!

Bottledworder reports that kathi (if Indian) rolls are bigger and better and available in Manhattan.

So what is a kathi roll? Let’s break it down to the component level.

  1. The inside filler: Classically this consists of meat (beef, goat meat or chicken) kebabs, later additions include potatoes, cottage cheese or paneer.  Kebabs are typically run through with a kathi ( skewer, if non-Indian ) and grilled over charcoal but more normally pressure cooked, to spicy, juicy perfection.
  2. The bread: White flour parathas (unleavened Indian bread, shallow fried on a griddle). Whole wheat or naans sometimes, think “new Coke”.
  3. Options: Egg, deem (if Bengali), Unda (if Hindi speaker). The paratha is made first and in the final moments an egg or two (if double unda) or three (if triple unda – you get the picture…) broken over it making an omelette fused into the paratha.
  4. Garnishes: Chopped green chillies (if not spicy enough), sauteed onions, sauteed green peppers (or capsicum), fresh thinly sliced onions, lime juice, green chillies sauce (if still not spicy enough), ketchup (if “mod”).
  5. Packing: Put kebabs and garnishes into a row on one side of the paratha, roll up into a roll (what else), wrap lower half (pick one end and name it “lower half”) in paper, tuck in at the bottom.
  6. Hand it over to me!
  7. The Eating: Hold paper wrap in fist. Chomp off a bit size piece off the exposed top. Gasp as hot and spicy food burns your tongue. Chew contentedly, pulling more of the roll out of the paper wrapper.
  8. Discard wrapper when empty in nearest waste bin – the paper is not edible.

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This Post Has 28 Comments

  1. viveka

    Stop it – you are making me drool – what are you talking about – kathi’s not even being available in emrica/ Kanada – they are not even available in sada dilli – thanks to your Punjabi penchant to punjabify everything – you now have chicken tikka roll but no Kathi roll :'(

  2. TheLastWord

    don’t blame me – but what a way to wake up, eh?

    1. viveka

      Of course I do – or ar least your ilk – being married to a bong doesn’t absolve you from blame -;)

      1. TheLastWord

        Ah, but 28 years of living in Calcutta and 32 years with a Bangalan does allow me to engage in a culturally advanced exchange of words at the expense of action.

  3. anjanadee

    If this is a recipe, then I have to rethink the meaning of the word! But Slo-man, the description made me drool!! And here I was trying to diet…off I go to buy me a fat juicy roll!! Yum 🙂

    1. TheLastWord

      Of course it’s a recipe – a recipe for disaster if you’re on a diet. In any case, it is a recipe for a wond’rous moment, a filling, fulfilling moment, a glorious gourmand moment.

      1. TheLastWord

        Wow! Twisted Tandoor, eh? Another reason to visit Tucson. Do you know if Jojo ever came back home?

          1. TheLastWord

            “Jojo left his home in Tucson Arizona for some California grass” – Get Back : The Beatles

            1. Ha ha – opps – that one I get… Why would you come back to Tucson AZ if you were getting Cal grass?? Unless you wanted to eat some Twisted Tandoor…

              1. TheLastWord

                True – but he may have been one of the disulluioned ones fleeing the despair of the collapse of the dreams dreamed in the Summer of Love and gone back home to be an investment banker…

  4. josna

    Heaven (swarg)! Only one change:
    Step # 5. Hand it over to ME!

      1. josna

        Now I see why they’re called Catty Rolls! (Not.) Terrific post.

    1. TheLastWord

      They are very yum! You have to visit Kolkata for the real deal though, Come November! 🙁

  5. marriagebooklin

    Well kathi rolls can make you miss the train for me. Very well depicted the kathi

    1. TheLastWord

      Thank you! Kathi rolls are always a magnet for Calcuttias…

  6. Urmii Bhattacharrya

    Umm…the juicy treat is flowing inside my mouth…you made me go through the contentment of actually relishing a juicy kathi roll…you fooled my taste buds ?