Five Easy Sandwiches

English: A pat of butter, served on a leaf, wi...
English: A pat of butter, served on a leaf, with a butter knife and bread (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Ok, I think this blog could do with a bump in readership. Now food, recipes and kitty cats improve the stats but I don’t like cats (What? You had no idea? Hmmm … you must be new around here.)  So here are some simple recipes. I cannot promise you that these sandwiches are healthy, calorie-wise or otherwise good for you. I can tell you that these are good to eat, fast to make and as far as I know contain no lead, melamine, dog food or antibiotics. Without further ado, on with the list.

The Simple Punjabi

This is the easiest sandwich ever invented. I invented this. I’m a Punjabi (of sorts) and a simple-minded one at that.


  • Bread – suit yourself as to variety, but a true Simple will use white bread.
  • A jar of Punjabi mango pickle. Mango is what the traditional recipe calls for. You could use some other pickle, but if you use avakkai or gongura, it’s not a Punjabi, is it? 🙂 ( Non-Indian readers: let it go or look it up.)
  • Butter


  • Take two slices of bread.
  • Spread butter, lightly, on one.
  • Next spread the pickle on the other one.
  • Use more of the masala and less of the chunks. It’s less chunky that way. Well, duh!
  • Slap them together.
  • Eat.

The Cheetney

Another easy to make sandwich. Does require some prep, fairly simple prep.


  • Bread – any variety will do
  • Cheese – Cheddar or processed cheese will work best. Try not to use real, (read “expensive”) cheese here. The fake, processed cheeses are the ticket. If Indian, then Amul cheese is the true inspiration for this treat.
  • Butter – (of course)
  • Mint Chutney. Recipe is provided out of the goodness of my heart at the bottom of this post. My own patented recipe, works every time and fresh to boot.


  • Slice #1 – apply butter.
  • Slice #2 – spread chutney.
  • Cut thin strips of cheese and lay on top of chutney.
  • Place Slice #1 on top of Slice #2.
  • Pick up, using thumb at bottom to hold Slice #2 in place and the finger to hold Slice #1 in place.
  • Bring to mouth.
  • Chomp off a bite with teeth.
  • Chew contentedly.
  • Swallow.
  • Repeat until done.

The Chutney

Check out the Cheetney above. Leave off the cheese. The rest is the same.

WOW!  Three sandwiches in and we’re already full, aren’t we?

But wait! There’s more!

Read now and we’ll give you not one, but two more sandwiches.

The Big Tom

Slightly more complicated than the others. Which isn’t saying much, really.


  • Bread: any type
  • Butter: yes
  • Tomatoes
  • Salt
  • Pepper


  • Slice tomatoes into slices. Uh, yeah, how else would you slice them? < Digression Alert #1: Can you actually slice a vegetable into dice? Or can you dice a potato (or tomato) into slices? I’d love to hear what you have to say on this. >
  • Heat a pan.
  • Add butter to it.
  • Lightly saute the tomatoes in the butter.
  • Season with salt and pepper.
  • Spread on Slice #1.
  • Cover with Slice #2.
  • Eat.
  • Send me your thanks with dollar attached.

Chippy Chippy Chip Chip

To make this really enjoyable and deadly easy sandwich, you need to listen to this song first.

The chances are that the reason you’re making this sandwich is because your mamma is far, far away. It’s the ultimate turn-to for the impoverished college student.


  • Bread:
  • Butter:
  • Chips (crisps, if British). Any flavour you like. Or you have handy.


  • Spread butter on Slice #1.
  • Add chips on top.
  • Put on Slice #2.
  • Eat and get back to the streaming video of the newest zombie movie.

The Simpleton

This is the easiest of the easy sandwiches. I’m providing this as a bonus, Sixth Easy Sandwich. All you need is Bread and Butter.

Spread Butter on Bread and Eat.


The Mint Spread 

This is a real recipe. You can make this and store in the refrigerator and use for a week or so, no problem. Use as a condiment, liberally.


  • Mint – bunches
  • Raw mangos – small ones are best. 1:1 proportions. 1 bunch needs 1 small mango. Adjust to your specific tangy tastes.
  • Green chillies
  • Salt
  • Water


  • Pluck the leaves off the mint bunch.
  • Wash and chop up the mangoes.
  • Remove and discard the inner seed or guttli.
  • Wash the leaves.
  • Chuck everything into a food processor, except the salt and water.
  • Start whizzing it all up.
  • From time to time adjust salt and water to ensure you get a smoothish spreadable… uh, I guess chutney is the best word for it.
  • Yes. What you have is pudina chutney. Pronounced Pouldina as in “would”, except it’s a soft “d” as in “the” not “d as in “done”.

But we are done.

Well done!

Hey listen, since you’re here anyway, wouldn’t you like to scope around this site and see what else you may find interesting.

Or boring?

Or buy my book – see link at right! It’s the best book I’ve ever written.

I mean, I’ve only written one book, so of course it’s the best I’ve ever written. Stands to reason, no?

Send me a note! I’m always ready for a chat. Unless I’m sleeping or otherwise engaged.

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This Post Has 21 Comments

  1. roughseasinthemed

    Mint chutney sounds brill. Guess I’d better try grow some mint again. Sandwiches sound a bit buttery for me. I like tomato sandwiches, but not cooked. Cucumber and lettuce ones are good too. Separate. But together. We’ve got some salt and pepper bread at the mo, great for sanis. Hard boiled egg sanis are good. Cheese can be ok, prefer real cheddar, with tom or onion.

    1. TheLastWord

      Oh they’re not really cooked. Just a quick saute, to kinda get that slightly wet, tangy feel out into the world. Cuke sarnie are good too. I don’t eat egg and all the meats are now carcinogenic now, so there goes my pastrami and mustard sandwich..

      1. roughseasinthemed

        Not eaten meat for xx years, will eat from our chickens or organic free range from time to time. I’m iffy about the cheese. That’s why tomatoes, cucumber and lettuce make good sandwiches.

        1. TheLastWord

          Cheese is an acquired thing… you get all sorts from really good to wow! what are they thinking…

  2. roughseasinthemed

    But *not* together that should have read. Too busy thinking about my next sandwich.

  3. A.PROMPTreply

    Hah. Enjoyed this attempt to up your readership, Ajesh. Wanted to mention I like your new header up there with the leaves! My favourite sandwich idea I think has to be the Simpleton. This is about my cooking level!

    1. TheLastWord

      hee hee! Do you think I should I have posted a cute kitten picture as well? Just to make it sure?

      I try to recycle headers to match the season ( or my mood ). I haven’t been a very happy person the last week or so…. had a hmmpf moment that has lingered

      1. A.PROMPTreply

        Oh! Sorry to hear about that moment…..I do know how that feels. I hope you get an upswing soon!

        1. TheLastWord

          I hope so too! It was an annoying moment. Very reminiscent of a similar things many years ago and it bothered me then and it bothered me now.

          But, I’m much bigger now. Around the waist, definitely, so I think I’ll get over it soon. 🙂

          Thanks for the concern and wishes, Torrie.

  4. Nilanjana Bose

    Whoa, that MotR number took me back! One of those songs that get into one’s head and then refuse to leave, quite baffling actually…Thanks.

    1. TheLastWord

      heh! yep! I wrote a post about the annoying songs that embed themselves into your head for the day … It’s there somewhere, under the Music option….

  5. NancyTex

    You had me at bread.

      1. NancyTex

        Bread I can eat on its own. Butter, not so much. So, in that contest, bread for the win every time.

        1. TheLastWord

          True. Though I did know a guy who actually used to put wedges of butter on his bread…

          1. NancyTex

            I’ve been known to do that once or twice. Do. Not. Judge. Me.

            1. TheLastWord

              I don’t mind butter myself…

  6. ladyofthecakes

    The Spanish:

    Take a baguette (preferably hard and tasteless), cut it in half and fill it with a single layer of finely (so finely that you can see through it) cut cheese OR ham OR chorizo. NEVER use more than one filling – it’s illegal.

    1. TheLastWord

      Oh damn! Really? Hmmm I may have to rethink Espana as a destination. ..