ISBF26: Poetry by Ashesh Mitra

Poetry

Here’s to the nights we remember
And the ones that are a blur

The ones where we mingle
The ones that fuck us up

Here’s to the one where we finished a book at 4AM
And the one where we lost a friend in the ICU

Let’s try not to forget being drunk onstage
But focus on forgetting our lines instead

Here’s to that joke we cracked when we got an award tonight
And to coming home to dad at the end of a series of flights

Here’s to the nights of joy and those of pain
And everything that’s in between them

Here’s to the nights we remember
And to those that we don’t

Here’s to us and our nights
The ones that keep us up and the ones that piss us off

The ones that we let go of and the ones that don’t let us go

And if you don’t have a candle
For these nights I’ve spoken of

At least have the confidence
To bring with you your own light.

There’s a poem here I’m not brave enough to write
About how I feel regarding the loss of years of work

There’s a poem here you’re not brave enough to read
About how, tired of being taken for granted You chose to leave

There’s a poem here about the seraphs of Heaven and the demons of Hell
How they watch as we crawl like ants on the surface of this earth
Putting out the little fires we start, feeling the hurt we feel

There’s a poem here of friends made and paths explored
And of course, of looking ahead and behind to find a way back to what we love to do

But if you think doing that is easy and that I’m not scared
My dear you’re a fool, for even if I have done it a thousand times before
It takes everything I have got to not scream
Each time I pick up a pen and commit words to paper.

Is it enough to be loved?
To do the things you love?

Doesn’t love hurt? Isn’t it awful?
And at what point have you loved enough?

It’s so fucking weird that love is what breaks you
Into pieces, each shard taunting you

Yet it is love, too, that picks up those shards
And does kintsugi.

Love should be enough, don’t you think?
Love for what you do, love for what you call God

Sometimes you hate out of love too
You loved him, how could he do this to you?

But hey, I’ve had this conversation before
Each time, I’ve learnt how much love I have in me

Maybe you’ll have this conversation too, maybe you’re having it now
Love in all its forms

The exquisite, the heinous, the excruciating
All of it

Believe me when I say
It’s enough