WordPress tells me that Wednesday is the best day for readers of #SloWord. 28% of the readers come to #SloWord and read what is there to be read on #SloWord on Wednesdays. It also tells me that 9% of the readers read #SloWord at 11:00pm. It would be reasonable to say then #SloWord helps some readers fall asleep.
So there you have it folks! A tried and tested cure for insomnia.
Read SloWord and fall asleep. Feel refreshed and rejuvenated! Read SloWord now!
The fine print: Works best on Wednesdays. Studies show us that reading on a screen at night is bad for sleep. Studies also show that coffee is bad for you, red wine is good for the heart, wheat causes bloating, instant noodles cause lead poisoning, green tea is better for you than black tea, black tea tastes better than green, roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is bad for you, salt is bad for you, butter was bad for you, fat got a bum rap, the bum got fat on it’s own, a grande, skinny decaf latte with soy milk is pointless, exercise is good, the Jenner-Kardashian family deserves the US and the US deserves them, Sepp Blatter is bad, Michel Platini isn’t going to be any better, Eric Cantona understand the relationship between seagulls, trawlers and sardines, Platini is to Blatter as cholera is to the plague, the traffic in Toronto is bad now but wait for the PanAm games to start, the summer is here and so is summer construction, smog is on it’s way, come June 22 it’s the countdown to the winter, this next winter will be cold, this next winter will be warmer than the last 20 years, this winter will have lots of snow, this winter winter will have low snowfalls except where you live, the lakes are drying up due to global warming, global warming is causing water levels to rise, Alberta is becoming Socialist, Albertans are worried about their new Socialist government, Ontario had plenty of new jobs, being black is grounds for arrest and assault from policemen, markets are heading down, house prices are going up, there is a real estate recession coming, the US does not trust Hilary Clinton, Obama is not black, Obama is not American, Rick Perry will win and so will Santorum, Newt shouldn’t even think about it, have quinoa and live long, have quinoa and every moment will feel longer, free range chicken tastes better, raising free range chicken for your plate is bad for the chickens because it give them false hope, mad cow disease is just around the corner, Indians believe that drinking milk from foreign cows causes unmentionable diseases, tourists think it’s a great idea to strip for a selfie on the top of a mountain, government officials believe the stripping idiots caused an earthquake, squatting to take a crap is better than sitting on a toilet seat, you can laugh your way out of porn, recruiters know what they are doing, recruiters understand how email works, there is a difference between alcoholism and alcohol abuse disorder, the UP Express will be a boon, the UP Express is a disastrous waste of taxpayer money, grammar is no longer needed, gurl is cooler than girl but takes the same amount of effort to write, your often confused about you’re grammar but their, it ain’t no use in complaining, gurl!
In short, it’s all meaningless, worthless babble. Read, if you must. Do, if you must. Be. Be. Be. You.
As the late G. Harrison once said:
Do what you want to do
And go where you’re going to
Think for yourself
Cos I won’t be there with you
#maggi #Nestle #FIFA #Blatter #HilaryClinton #sloword #PanAmGames #grammar #Malaysia #Earthquake