Ok, I think this blog could do with a bump in readership. Now food, recipes and kitty cats improve the stats but I don’t like cats ( what? you had no idea? Hmmm … you must be new around here. ) So here are some simple recipes. I cannot promise you that these sandwiches are healthy, calorie-wise or otherwise good for you. I can tell you that these are good to eat, fast to make and as far as I know contain no lead, melamine, dog food or antibiotics. Without further ado, on with the list.
The Simple Punjabi
This is the easiest sandwich ever invented. I invented this. I’m a Punjabi ( of sorts ) and a simple-minded one at that.
- Bread – suit yourself as to variety, but a true Simple will use white bread.
- A jar of Punjabi mango pickle. Mango is what the traditional recipe calls for. You could use some other pickle, but if you use avakkai or gongura, it’s not a Punjabi, is it? 🙂 ( Non-Indian readers: let it go or look it up.
Take two slices of bread. Spread butter, lightly, on one. Next spread the pickle on the other one. Use more of the masala and less of the chunks. It’s less chunky that way. Well, duh! Slap them together. Eat.
Another easy to make sandwich. Does require some prep, fairly simple prep.
- Bread – any variety will do
- Cheese – Cheddar or processed cheese will work best. Try not to use real, ( read expensive cheese ) here. The fake, processed cheeses are the ticket. If Indian, then Amul cheese is the true inspiration for this treat.
- Butter – ( of course )
- Mint Chutney. Recipe is provided out of the goodness of my heart at the bottom of this post. My own patented recipe, works every time and fresh to boot.
Slice #1 – apply butter. Slice #2 – spread chutney. Cut thin strips of cheese and lay on top of chutney. Place Slice #1 on top of Slice #2. Pick up, using thumb at bottom to hold Slice #2 in place and the finger to hold Slice #1 in place. Bring to mouth. Chomp off a bite with teeth. Chew contentedly. Swallow. Repeat until done.
Check out the Cheetney above. Leave off the cheese. The rest is the same.
WOW! Three sandwiches in and we’re already full, aren’t we? But wait! There’s more! Read now and we’ll give you not one, but two more sandwiches.
The Big Tom
Slightly more complicated than the others. Which isn’t saying much, really.
- Bread: any type
- Butter: yes
Slice tomatoes into slices. Uh, yeah, how else would you slice them? < Digression Alert #1: Can you actually slice a vegetable into dice? Or can you dice a potato (or tomato) into slices? I’d love to hear what you have to say on this. >
Heat a pan. Add butter to it. Lightly saute the tomatoes in the butter. Season with salt and pepper. Spread on Slice #1. Cover with Slice #2. Eat. Send me your thanks with dollar attached.
Chippy Chippy Chip Chip
To make this really enjoyable and deadly easy sandwich, you need to listen to this song first.
The chances are that the reason you’re making this sandwich is because your mamma is far, far away. It’s the ultimate turn-to for the impoverished college student.
- Chips ( or crisps, if British ). Any flavour you like.
Spread butter on Slice #1. Add chips on top. Put on Slice #2. Eat and get back to the streaming video of the newest zombie movie.
This is the easiest of the easy sandwiches. I’m providing this as a bonus, Sixth Easy Sandwich. All you need is Bread and Butter. Spread Butter on Bread and Eat.
The Mint Spread
This is a real recipe. You can make this and store in the refrigerator and use for a week or so, no problem. Use as a condiment, liberally.
- Mint – bunches
- Raw mangos – small ones are best. 1:1 proportions. 1 bunch needs 1 small mango. Adjust to your specific tangy tastes.
- Green chillies
Pluck the leaves off the mint bunch. Wash and chop up the mangoes. Remove and discard the inner seed or guilty.
Wash the leaves. Chuck everything into a food processor, except the salt and water. Start whizzing it all up. From time to time adjust salt and water to ensure you get a smoothish spreadable… uh, I guess chutney is the best word for it. Yes. What you have is pudina chutney. Pronounced Pouldina as in “would”, except it’s a soft “d” as in “the” not “d as in “done”.
But we are done. Well done!
Hey listen, since you’re here anyway, wouldn’t you like to scope around this site and see what else you may find interesting. Or boring? I’d love to hear from you.