How to bear a bear

This is triggered by someone else’s memory. Usually, as you are well aware by now, it is triggered by one of my own memories. However, every once in a while I see a passing bit of text passing before my tired old eyes and “I say, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, What’s goin’s on?”  (Tip: Put a capo on the 2nd fret and play G, Am, C and back to G. Cycle endlessly with some right hand improvisation…

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The SloWord Interview

Well, it's new. This blog has moved here to its permanent residence, after nearly ten years of living under a temporary shelter. Vee hopes you are loving ze purple tinge!! To celebrate and implement this change we took SloWord aside and gave him ( them? ) the fifth degree. Yes, the fifth degree is considerably more complex than the third degree. The third degree simply involves lighted matches under the toes. The fifth degree involves much more.…

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The Coffee Post – 2

So now we get to The Great Coffee Crisis of 2017. In Part 1, I had introduced you to the lovely ladies who were so instrumental in driving me mental. Yes, these ladies created the crisis, consigned me to the consomme and a fate worse than death - instant coffee. They watched in stony silence as I was reduced to a drooling, slobbering, drowsy semi-comatose le mort vivant over a period of 3 weeks. Telle est la…

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The Coffee Post – 1

This is a coffee post. It has been semi-commissioned. Semi? Yes. There was a sort of contest on for a "coffee post". This is my entry. And a very good entry it will be too. I think. No, they said to use "I believe" or "I strongly believe" in that two-day training course I attended recently where they taught me how to stand up straight, open up my palms and speak clearly. Now coffee looms large in…

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All-time Fantasy Grammys

So the Grammy's were on the other day. I did not watch. I find they refuse to nominate me or give me awards. Clearly this is discrimination against the talentless unknowns. As Supreme Peon and Idiotic Twit (SPIT) of the Council for Recognition of Atonal Performers (CRAP), I therefore called for a boycott from my basement office. This was met with universal and unanimous approval across the Council, whose current membership is somewhat higher than 0 peaking…

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Socks

Not the cat.... You know this, already. No cats allowed at SloWord. This one is dedicated to actual socks, the things you wear on your feet. Like this one. Contrary to what you may be thinking, I am perfectly sane. Socks are mysterious creatures. They are prone to a half-life without the means of radioactivity. They are excellent at camouflage, merging into the texture of life without any provocation. And they do that with only half of…

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An Anthology of Personal Poetry

Since I hear no clamor from publishers wanting to publish anything written by me, I have decided to publish my "poetry" here. I suspect it will make them look quite silly. That is, if this blog is on their reading list. Most of these lines appeared as throwaways on assorted Facebook groups. When you read them you will know why they were thrown away. Don't say I didn't warn you. "Oh Alright," you say, "Let me read…

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The Second Annual Birthmonth Festival

As you may remember, most of you very carefully and diligently ignored the First Annual Birthmonth Festival. Now here is your chance to do so again. Yes, there is a difference. The last time around your indifference lasted a whole month. This time around, given that the world's collective attention span is shorter than Trump's fingers, I've decided that you get a week ( or 3 - well, maybe 4 ) to celebrate this August moment. August, the…

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Evil Eyed Cherry

The other day I bought some cherries. Sunday, it was, yes, I remember well. I bought the cherries home and washed them and ate them and they were good. I also had occasion to visit a Bengali sweet shop and The Good Lady bought some kaancha chena. Literally translated it means "raw cottage cheese". With some sugar added it is a traditional Bengali sweet. Now, you know, I live in Canada, right? Right. So cherries in summer is…

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Practically Witty

I wrote this poem for no reason For it's really just the season. This poem is quite small and it's very stupid and all. Tubetops, when they put these on you also get those bare knees on. You know this is really quite silly For I'm writing stuff willy nilly. You may exclaim "Oh Lord!" "He really is so odd!" It's not because of the terrain hilly Or a preponderance of rose and lily. In fact there…

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